Well, guess what? I hated it! It was one of the most tedious films I’ve ever watched, right up there with La Dolce Vita. I know, I know, I can hear you gasp from here, but what can I say? I just hate watching privileged people do things – or do nothing, as is more often the case – when they have all the means in the world to do something. Jeesh, even the cool Italian car wasn’t so cool!

I understand that these films were pioneering a very different way of portraying some of the deep and difficult questions that we can be faced with in life, like:

Anna — Should I stay with Sandro? [No!]
Claudia — Is my friend Anna okay? [No!]
Sandro — Should I quit my job? [Hell No!, not in this economy!]
Claudia — Should I have a go with Sandro? [No!]
Anna — Should I wear this outfit or the other one? [Yes!] (Sorry.)

But this technique just doesn’t do it for me. The movie is more a vehicle for Antonioni to express the love he has for his camera, and for the camera to express the love it has for these beautiful actors and locale. The movie is brilliant in that regard. The cinematographic composition is stunning. It truly is video art of the highest degree.

But apart from that, I guess you can call me one of those “less sophisticated Cannes rabble.” [Even though my before-mentioned grandpa was born and raised in southern Italy, his dad was from southern France, so I’m entitled.] Although I no longer need to have resolution at the end of a movie, and have actually grown to like not having it sometimes, and don’t mind a bit that we don’t know what happened to Anna, I would be right there with that first Cannes crowd yelling Cut! during the lengthy scene when Claudia rushes down the corridor looking for Patrizia to ask if she’s knows where Sandro is. Before that, I got really tired of the gang aimlessly wandering around on the island making a vague effort to look for Anna. Somehow I was reminded of Planet of the Apes.

As to the mystery, I think that Sandro and Claudia were having an affair before the story even begins. Claudia was going way too far overboard in being uncomfortable with Sandro after Anna disappeared. I think Sandro off’ed Anna so that he and Claudia could be together, and then Claudia spent the rest of the movie hating herself for loving such a man.

Actress Monica Vitti (Claudia) was faultlessly, stunningly beautiful in this movie, and her acting was superb. I’m not surprised. She was born on the exact same day as my beautiful Mama.

One thing I found totally distracting was the beauty mark on Anna’s forehead. The guys probably didn’t notice it because their attention was most likely focused elsewhere. But being a girl, I was looking at her makeup, how she was doing her eyebrows, you know, important things, and when I first noticed the birthmark, I wanted to flick the fly off her forehead. When it was still there in the next few frames, and I realized it was, in fact, a mole, it kept being a distraction. I’ll probably have to spend a few extra days in purgatory for this comment, as it’s wrong to criticize anyone about the looks they were born with. But the hyper-beauty of this movie made that one “flaw” annoyingly obvious. Eureka! That’s it! That’s the crux of the story! If it weren’t for Anna’s flawed character, everyone else would be perfectly happy in their perfectness!

Ciao a tutti!!

Basically, I went into this film as I do with most films with subtitles…with a casual annoyance. Not so much that I have to read the film but more so that I actually have to PAY ATTENTION to the film. I don’t want to come off as a typical “Merkin!” film-goer who can’t seem to figure out that other people in other countries speak languages that I don’t understand. I just kind of naturally assume that these films are going to be DIFFERENT. You know, self absorbed, self aware, self congratulatory. As you may have seen my review for the film “Breathless” a French movie from the 50’s that I found absof*ckinglutely annoying. If that film was made exactly the same way and in ENGLISH I would have found it absof*ckinglutely annoying. But it was HIP!

So, again, I go into these films with a bit of a heavy sigh knowing that I’ll have to seriously invest some time in the process of figuring out what the hell is going on.

The film starts out in a good spot, though, when hot Italian brunette babe shows up looking bored. Finally hooking up with her long distance boyfriend, they “hook-up” literally while her hot Italian blond friend waits (in deep focus mind you). But after the sexual encounter, the brunette is still bored and off onto a yacht they all go for some shenanigans.

Not much happens the first half hour. Rich people complain about the weather or the sea or the whatever and just as I was about to nod off, they all go swimming in the ocean near some rocky islands.

When the hot brunette starts yelling “shark!” I figured now was as good a time as any for me to figure out what’s going on. Still, there was no shark and she admits this to her blond pal. After she has told her boyfriend that she’s really not that into him any more and that she’s taken him off her top five on MySpace (okay, I’m kidding).

Finally they end up exploring one of the islands when, suddenly, the brunette disappears. Where did she go? What happened?

Suddenly I’m interested and the film switches to sort of a “low-key Hitchcock” when now I’m wishing I paid more attention to the first 40 minutes of the movie. Was there a clue? Did I miss something? (probably yes on both counts) Did she die? Did she jump? Is she hiding until everyone goes home?

And what of the semi-erotic moment when she was chatting with her blond friend in the boat? And did her boyfriend kill her? The questions were now coming fast and fierce and interest began to perk up.

Once they’ve combed the island and have determined that her body is not there, they all scatter to the main land to see if they can find out what is going on. Boyfriend and Blond decide they’ll investigate more…and boy, do they ever! Suddenly they’re a couple. Are they on this journey to find her? Or to find each other?

The Blond meets up with a friend of hers from the ship, a “cougar” who is after a 17 year old painter who only paints nudes (sadly the only nudity in the film). The cougar beds the boy while the blond walks away.

Finally, in a small town her and the boyfriend communicate in an old fashioned way (by ringing some bells – CHURCH bells, not some hand-held bells). Finally the film ends on a really ambiguous point. Does he find his lost love? Does she love him? Do they love each other? Where will this relationship go?

Wow. Lots of questions for a 2 hour 20 minute film.

WHAT I LIKED

What’s not to like when there are a handful of beautiful Italian women wandering around?

Photography was excellent for a black-and-white film. I would have loved to have seen the picture post-card vistas in color but, alas, what can you do? Still, beautifully shot.

The story was good and intriguing – if not a bit on the loooong side. Still, it kept my interest and it kept me guessing.

I liked the ambiguous ending.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

Well…there’s that ambiguous ending. Seriously, can we have some CLOSURE?!

Okay, I’m kidding – but I do like my stories a little more cut-and-dried but I also like when they’re NOT cut-and-dried – does that make any sense whatsoever?

There were a tad too many characters milling about and it kept my brain hopping to figure out who was who and whose relationship was with whom.

The film was bit on the loooooong side for what it is.

FINAL COMMENT:

The film was interesting and it kept me guessing (and thinking about it) long after it was over. I still felt it was “Hitchcock – lite” and would have liked an extra murder or two just to punch up the action. I would recommend it, certainly, as a one-off. You can live the rest of your life not seeing it and be good but, hey, if it’s sitting in a DVD player somewhere and you have 2 hours + to kill…