Unfortunately, that’s not all that’s broadening, what with all the potato chips, cookies and ice cream I’ve been eating while watching these flicks and trying to write pithy reviews. Ha ha! I’m going to have to start making some healthy popcorn instead.

Best regards!

And the sashaying! The voice that came forth unbidden in my brain was that of the classic “Acting!” of Master Thespian/Jon Lovitz. But just when I thought Belle was going to be way too overly dramatic with her swaying and posing, as she was moving across the sets, instead she turned it into a perfect mix of hesitation, courage, doubt, conviction, and yes, drama, but of just the right amount.

Along with the costumes, the special effects were lots of fun, and clever, too, considering the age of this movie. I caught on immediately that the last scene was filmed and then run in reverse to simulate flying (instead of falling), but I had no clue as to the same trick being used for the self-lighting candles in the hallway. (I think I’m going to have to read the IMBd trivia section before I watch these movies, so as to not miss these kinds of things.) And I loved the kitty ears perking up when the beast became aware of the deer nearby, and how they flattened in shame when in the next moment, he once again became painfully self-aware of his loathsome duality.

This is such a classic story, I could have been bored by it, but the side plots were given so much more depth, it kept me interested in the movie as a whole. Belle’s father’s finances rise and fall like a roller coaster, and there couldn’t be a more timely story to watch on the “big” screen right now. (Small consolation during the taking of their furniture: “We always leave the beds.”) The plot among the three ladies was a little tiring in its similarity to Cinderella and her wicked stepsisters, but the parts were performed with such efficacy that I didn’t dare blink for fear of missing the subtleties. The taller evil sister chewed through her scenes with gusto. And the interplay between brother Ludovic and friend Avenant was a perfect mix of healthy friendship and straightforward enmity when Ludovic must defend Belle’s honor and fisticuffs ensue.

Along with the just-described conflict of friendship and foe between Ludovic and Avenant, the shorter evil sister’s doubts about the success of their dastardly plans was another example of this movie’s interesting duality theme. She wants to see Cinderella–I mean, Belle fall off her new-found pedestal, and at the same time she knows it’s wrong to take steps to make that happen. And Belle, of course, is torn between her duty to take care of her poor father, and her desire to enjoy the luxurious lap of the beast. The beast’s ugly fur-covered, claw-nailed hands are more often than not smoking (I’d never heard of that one before), but one of the most sensuous scenes was of him lapping water out of Belle’s dainty little hands.

Our lives are often full of conflicting experiences, emotions and choices, and this movie does a brilliantly subtle job of documenting many examples of those conflicts.

These stories were told with directness and honesty; the characters meant exactly what they said and how they said it; and the film was executed with rich texture and layers of beauty — any of which is hard to find in today’s film industry.

I’m beginning to really LOVE these old movies!

So I can’t tell you how faithfully it followed the book but I can tell you how faithfully it follows the Disney animated musical.

So…comparison away! Okay, I’ll try not to compare them both.

First the film starts out with the titles being written on a chalk board. I guess this is to say that it’s a Children’s Story but I don’t know if it is, or not. Is it a movie for kids? This follows with a long written introduction by Mr. Cocteau that is, of course, all in French. Since the people at Criterion didn’t want to bother translating it for the minute or so it’s on screen, I can only guess it says something: “Enjoy my film. Jean”

We land in the whimsical country-side where Belle (Beauty) is in full Cinderella mode. Seems that her sisters like to treat her like crap and force her to do all the work while they gallivant around and act all snooty. Why her father doesn’t step in…I don’t know. He’s got other problems. Like a ship full of goods that has been delayed, or stolen or something. So the family is on the verge of being poor. Though don’t tell the sisters that. They’ve got Balls to go to and societies to impress.

Belle, though, keeps cleaning.

When the father makes it to the seaport town to find out his ship has come in – literally – and they will be rich once again – alas, it’s NOT true and they’re not only poor – but the creditors are going to take everything.

On his way home, the father ends up in the beast’s castle and steals a rose. The Beast (in a costume that is quite convincing for the day – I kind of expected something a bit “cheaper looking.”) plans to kill papa since he took that rose. But he pleads for his life and heads home – only to be told he must give up a daughter to take his place.

Now, all this was covered in the Disney movie pretty quickly. In Cocteau’s film (I love saying Cocteau – it sounds so…dirty) this takes up nearly 20 minutes (if not more) of the 94 minute running time.

Still, Beauty/Belle runs away from home to the castle of the Beast (“Take me where I want to go. Go go go!” she says to the magic horse) where she enters in all sorts of “Dracula Castle” glory.

Now…here’s the big difference of animated films and live action films on a budget. In Disney’s film you see this GRAND CASTLE with libraries and hallways and dining halls and forbidden wings, etc. In the Beast’s castle – you get a couple hallways, two rooms, a dining room, a few doors and lots and lots of “hand candles” (candles that magically light – the film is run backward) being held by hands that move. I didn’t really get the sense that this place was very VAST in its grandeur and beauty.

Now…relationship alert. To actually make a movie like this pay off you need to establish a plausible relationship between a man/Beast and a fair lady. In the Disney version they did this well, with an enormous library, a montage of “cute cut scenes” and some overall prattle by talking furniture. Not to mention the wonderful music score.

For Cocteau’s (giggle) film the relationship is basically established like this: “We’re going to meet for dinner every night at 7. I’ll ask if you want to “hook-up” and wait for your response. Rinse. Repeat.” And that’s it! Oh, sure, there’s some wandering around and the Beast does give her pretty necklace and puts her up in the fanciest room with a mirror that talks and a door that talks and some statues that watch her every move…but for a relationship, golly, there really isn’t one. Okay, I just remembered that there IS a sweet moment where Belle/Beauty lets the Beast drink out of her hands. But…seeing that the beast has hands (with opposable thumbs) I have no idea why he has to drink from the pond like a common kitty-cat.

Finally feeling lonely and tired of the “want to hook up?” questions from the Beast – Belle/Beauty asks if she can go visit her sickly father. The Beast okays it, but she must be back in a week. He gives her the “power glove!” (which enables her to go anywhere her heart desires – I guess the magic horse will take too long) and the “key” – this key goes to some glowing gazebo out in the garden – neither of which can enter (or something) – I may have looked up just as the subtitle went by.

She travels home where her beauty and loveliness revives her father but then her jealous sisters, lay-about brother and ex-boyfriend, all want here to stay and not return to the beast. Now, she tells him that the Beast is a great guy, loves to play Bridge, dabbles in macrame, and makes a great potato salad – but they are jealous (and poor) and want to kill the Beast and take his gold.

Still…they can’t have Belle/Beauty return to him because that would foil their plans so when the week is up they convince Belle/Beauty to stay. Now…here is where the film takes another slightly illogical turn. Belle’s bitchy spoiled sisters plead for her to stay or they will “surely die, along with father…” So using guilt they convince Beauty/Belle to make a promise that she’ll stay. Almost IMMEDIATELY they all bitch back up again and laugh in her face. It’s like some strange code of honor that since she said she wouldn’t go back they can all treat her like crap again…huh? Oh, and one of the sisters takes the magic key.

Planning on killing the beast but not knowing where the Beast hangs his hat, the ex-boyfriend – coifed like an adult dickwad, and the slacker brother decide to take the magic horse. The horse showed up with magic mirror from Belle’s room. What does the mirror show when people look into? I assume it’s what they desire…because early on one sister wanted a monkey and when she looks in it, she sees a monkey. When Belle looks in it she sees the Beast. But when the OTHER sister looks in it, she sees an old lady. Is this some sort of weird lesbian sub-current going on in Cocteau’s (snicker) vision?

When Belle/Beauty sees the Beast she uses the “magic glove!” and heads to his side where he’s dying?(!) Now, I don’t get this. Maybe it’s in the book, or something, but during the film the Beast occasionally gives off smoke and/or steam. I don’t know what this means and they sure didn’t cover this in the Disney film. But when he shows up, he’s got a bleeding nose and is steaming and looks pretty poorly.

Slacker Brother and Ex-Boyfriend find their way onto the property and, climbing on a wall find themselves above the “glowing gazebo” where they look down and see the riches and someone named “Diana” – now this name is mentioned early on in the story and I have no idea who this “Diana” person is. Maybe Jason knows. Maybe Wikipedia knows. But I sure as hell don’t know.

Instead of using the key, they decide to break the glass and jump in. Why the hell not?! So they do…but once the ex-boyfriend is in, a statue kills him with an arrow and he (GASP!!) turns into the Beast while the Beast…..turns into HIM! Or a reasonable, not so dickwad looking – but, golly, still pretty gay looking – ex-boyfriend resembling guy. And he’s ALL BETTER!

Everyone lives happily ever after.

I’ll admit I was hoping for a “Disney End” when the door changes back into a person or the “wall candelabra arms” become humans or SOMETHING more than: “Do you recognize me?” “Kinda. Lets go have a mocha.”

WHAT I LIKED:

Well, from this review you can probably guess that I was none to impressed with this fantasy of Cocteau’s (chortle). The castle was kinda interesting and the low-budget people as statues and wall sconces was kind of neat but I think there could have been soooo much more.

The bitchy sisters were fun.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE:

***ponder*** The castle could have been better. The relationship between the Beast and Belle/Beauty could have been fleshed out more. The supporting characters were very one-dimensional. It didn’t seem as magical as it could have been. Now, when it was released it was probably VERY magical. 2009? Not so much. Oh, and there could have been more cleavage.

Bottom line: Not completely terrible but… this is the worst of the bunch, so far.