FIFI LYRICS 4: DON’T EAT BRICKS

WE’RE A BAND

(Infested with the Rabies of Talent)

Hey we’re fifi
And we’re gonna rock you
We might offend you
And possibly shock you

Give us your money
And come to our concerts
Buy all our albums
And buy all our t-shirts

CHORUS:
We’re infested with the rabies of talent
Infected with the smallpox of greatness
We love our fans

Our music’s trash
And we know it, too
What do we care?
It’s good enough for you!

Enter, ye metalheads
And bow at the temple
Kiss our feet
It’s really quite simple

CHORUS

Give us your money
And come to our concerts
Buy all our albums
And buy all our t-shirts

DON’T EAT BRICKS

CHORUS:
Stand up for what is right
Don’t play dirty tricks
Don’t get into fights
And DON’T EAT BRICKS!

When I was but a child
My Mom would say to me:
“Don’t pick your nose!”
And “Be who you want to be!”

She’d scream and pull my hair
“Don’t cross your eyes – they’ll stick!”
But I didn’t think it was fair
She never let me eat bricks

CHORUS

She’d poke me in the eye
“Don’t throw stones or sticks!
Eat all your eggplant casserole!
And DON’T EAT BRICKS!”

“Don’t talk back to me!
And don’t mess with foreign chicks!
Don’t put sharp objects in your ear!
And DON’T EAT BRICKS!”

CHORUS

AFRAID OF FOOD

I’m afraid of beans
And I’m afraid of peas
I’m afraid of oranges
And so is He’s (yeah!)

Afraid of Chicken Kiev
And Veal Parmesan
I pray for the day
Beef bouillon is long gone

Croutons are an evil plot
To soften our minds
Disease is transmitted
Through the stench of rotting orange rinds

The very sight of dry cereal
Makes me scream in fright
I dream of carnivorous Brussels sprouts
In the middle of the night

I’m afraid of lots of things
Like Chicken Cacciatore
Potato chips and pimento sauce
Really make me worry

Pork sausage and lean ground beef
Are trying to get above us
Coca Cola and coffee beans
Will make you super-nervous

Afraid of food
Afraid of food
Afraid of food
Afraid of food

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DOE

The air is clean
The water cool
A clearing by
A deep blue pool

A doe steps out
Of the trees
Onto the grass
By the reeds

Lilting music
Soon is heard
The singing of
The forest birds

The doe begins
To leap and prance
Caught up in
The forest dance

The doe’s brown eyes
Soon turn red
The doe starts coughing
And then drops dead

BIGOTED BUTTER

(Part XXVII of “Evil Dairy Products”)

In a place beyond this mortal coil
Dwell Margarine who work the soil
‘Neath baking sun and weighty chain
They cry as they melt, “When stops the pain?”

The Dairy Zealot Masters
While away their day
In opulent splendor
Carefree and gay

Bigoted Butter
And Malicious Milk
Heap scorn upon Margarine
And their ilk

“Margarine are less than human!”
The creed-bound Butter roar
“There’s nothing on TV tonight!
I say, let’s start a war!”

So, suddenly, the hammer fell
Persecution too horrible to tell
Scourging Mocha Mix and Margarine
Harboring powdered eggs was a sin

Fanatic partisan stormtroops

Trained in the use of heatlamps
Wasted, melted Margarine
Made the dry land damp

Uh, then the Margarine… did some stuff…
That really made the, uh… that really made the…
Then the Margarine did some stuff
That really made the, uh…

He’s: Wow… what did happen then?

Annette: Um, well… uh, did you tell about the, um, uh, the,
the… you know… the slavery and oppression of all…
non-dairy products?

He’s: Mm, yeah, yeah, we covered that in verse four.

Annette: Oh. Well, what about the, uh, the fanatic partisan stormtroopers -

He’s: Yeah, yeah, that was in verse five.

Annette: Mm. Oh, well, what about the -

He’s: Yeah, we covered that, too.

Annette: Oh. Well, what about the Prophet Fleischmann… and…

He’s: No, I… I guess we didn’t do that part yet.

Annette: Well, let’s… do it.

He’s: Okay.

The ordained Prophet Fleischmann
Stood before Pontius Parmesan
But it didn’t do any good
That’s the end of the song

DON’T WANNA HEAR YA

Don’t wanna hear ya
Don’t wanna hear ya no more
So stop your crying
And pick your face up off the floor

I loved you when I met you
Met you in a corner bar
You wrecked our home
And then you wrecked my car

Sick of your complaining
And what you put me through
Tired of all your lying
Why can’t you be true?

So shut… shut your mouth
And let go of my leg
You look so stupid, baby
So stupid when you beg

Get out of my house
And get out of my life
I… I don’t want you
Don’t want you as my wife

Don’t want to hear your footsteps
A-comin’ through my door
I meant it when I said
That I thought you were a… whole
Different person than you were when I met you
I don’t love you anymore