This is a bit ridiculous, since there is only one “BONUS TRACK” with lyrics worth mentioning. But if that’s what you were looking for, you’re in the right place.

THE FIFI STORY

I said this is the story of a band named fifi
We come a long way, but it wasn’t very easy

We played in Yakima, London, and Paris
Started in a town called Mountlake Terrace

We played the cafeteria, they were throwin’ food
When we played at Homecoming, riots ensued

Paul DeVoid played bass until
The nuclear meltdown when he got killed

CHORUS 1:
This is the story of a band named fifi
Nipping at the heels of reality
This is the story of a band named fifi
Sniffing at the trousers of infinity

Escaped from the clutches of the Anti-Jason
Otherwise known as Jeff La-ge-son

Hitched a ride on the Calypso with Jacques
Pretty soon we knew we shoulda stayed on the dock

Our drummer was abducted by the FBI
But some time later, he fell outta the sky

He lived a couple miles from Ballinger
Until he stowed away on the Challenger

CHORUS 2:
This is the story of a band named fifi
Nipping at the heels of reality
This is the story of a band named fifi
Sniffing at the crotch of infinity

The Anti-Jason legions sent a
Message through the Reverend Mente

Had to use our brains; had to use our fists
Hounded by televangelists

Playin’ a guitar we bought at Pay ‘N’ Pak
And dreamin’ of the day we would play at the Yak

Never gonna grow old, never gonna get fat
Never gonna go away, and we’re Sorry ‘Bout That!

CHORUS 2

Shootin’ the lids off cans in Spades
We follow the one known as Jason Toews

The Tricyclists of the Apocalypse
Vowed to destroy all the Tavists

Thought we’d sell a lot of records; we didn’t sell any
Armageddon was fought at Denny’s

It was worth the pain, and it was worth the strife
To eat from the salad bar of eternal life

CHORUS 2